white elephant

another year has come and gone. tonites annual white elephant party is not as wild as those in the past. i smoke way too much when im with roca and her gang from her workplace. they all seem nice, and i kind of wish i were in that atmosphere.

an observation: im wildly attracted to gay boys. not that i would fuck them, but i love watching them move. i love watching their sexiness and how they slink when they walk up to their prey. they are so open with their sexuality, and it turns me on. i have gay friends who are so hot and beautiful. what makes them attractive is their intelligence and the way they look when theyve spotted someone who is a challenge to get into bed.

my celibacy is still in tact. i must admit: i hold on to it now with ferocity because i fear it can slip from my grasp at any moment of weakness. i think i can last until january 2006. no more parties until then, except for one that i dont think will have anyone interesting.

topher grace is hot. i loved him in in good company. hes on right now with laura linney in a movie called ps. i am still stoned, very tired, and not too drunk. i cant wait to have sex again.