creativity
dinner tonite with roca. we catch up on feelings that remain hidden until coaxed to come out on nippy nights like tonite. we talk about boys (me), girls (her), exes (ours), and our art (photography and paint). she asks for advice about how to have no-strings-attached sex. i offer none and advise her to explore her feelings about intimacy because i dont think she can have sex without it.
i remember exbf and how he, too, cannot have sex without intimacy. it was difficult for him at first to fuck me because i am not as affectionate as he is. i usually scoot to my side of the bed away from his arms as soon as he is asleep after making love. when he finds me so far away, he pulls me back to him.
exbf is a poet and a writer, at least he is during our 5 years together. while he is busy writing away to express his deep thoughts, i am chronicling my emptiness and sadness in my journals, which i keep hidden in the event he wants to access my secrets.
my life is more fulfilling now without him. and i am sure, his is better without me in it. i love him still, yet i find my memories are what fuel this love. i do not know who he is now, and i do not want to know because i do not want to open up the wounds that are slowly scarring over.
when exbf leaves me for the confines of his fathers house in upstate new york, i am left to piece together the life i had before him. among the rubbles, i find my camera, and i am immediately reborn.
i am alive when i have my camera in my hand. it is a nikon n50, obsolete. i am in love with it as it is an extension of my soul. i photograph people, try to capture their essence, and i give the prints away as gifts. i love to shoot windows and doors, light and dark, stairs.
we talk once about what inspires us to write and to photograph. for him, it is pain. for me, it is happiness. for him, it is anxiety. for me, it is peace.
tonite, roca and i decide to embark on a project. there is a unifying theme to our undertaking, but the media will be different. the series will be a representation on a theme that she has always wanted to do but was never inspired to until i shared with her my idea.
we give ourselves until valentines day to compete this. i think we will have a place to display our work. all we need is our art and permission. the latter is the easier part.
dinner tonite with roca. we catch up on feelings that remain hidden until coaxed to come out on nippy nights like tonite. we talk about boys (me), girls (her), exes (ours), and our art (photography and paint). she asks for advice about how to have no-strings-attached sex. i offer none and advise her to explore her feelings about intimacy because i dont think she can have sex without it.
i remember exbf and how he, too, cannot have sex without intimacy. it was difficult for him at first to fuck me because i am not as affectionate as he is. i usually scoot to my side of the bed away from his arms as soon as he is asleep after making love. when he finds me so far away, he pulls me back to him.
exbf is a poet and a writer, at least he is during our 5 years together. while he is busy writing away to express his deep thoughts, i am chronicling my emptiness and sadness in my journals, which i keep hidden in the event he wants to access my secrets.
my life is more fulfilling now without him. and i am sure, his is better without me in it. i love him still, yet i find my memories are what fuel this love. i do not know who he is now, and i do not want to know because i do not want to open up the wounds that are slowly scarring over.
when exbf leaves me for the confines of his fathers house in upstate new york, i am left to piece together the life i had before him. among the rubbles, i find my camera, and i am immediately reborn.
i am alive when i have my camera in my hand. it is a nikon n50, obsolete. i am in love with it as it is an extension of my soul. i photograph people, try to capture their essence, and i give the prints away as gifts. i love to shoot windows and doors, light and dark, stairs.
we talk once about what inspires us to write and to photograph. for him, it is pain. for me, it is happiness. for him, it is anxiety. for me, it is peace.
tonite, roca and i decide to embark on a project. there is a unifying theme to our undertaking, but the media will be different. the series will be a representation on a theme that she has always wanted to do but was never inspired to until i shared with her my idea.
we give ourselves until valentines day to compete this. i think we will have a place to display our work. all we need is our art and permission. the latter is the easier part.
posted by m/p @ 10:17 PM
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