i dont wanna go to school

tomorrow i go back to work after a nice month hiatus. im not anxious, surprisingly, and i am kind of looking forward to socializing again, but the problem is that i dont belong there anymore. i feel like an actress playing the part of a teacher. its just a role for me now, not the passion that it once had been. however, i do feel hope welling up inside of me that there will be something wonderful happening soon.

luro emails me a simple message: hope the year is going blissfully well for you and your son. lets have coffee sometime, yes? i respond with an even simpler one: yes. how are you? coffee? hhhmmm...euphemism for sex, i think. id like tea, instead.

reps and i talk again for a long time last night. so nice to listen to his voice and his laugh. aaahhh, sweetness. hes such a great person, and i love the mix of confidence yet insecurity. i know that it doesnt make sense, but what the hell. thats my perception.

school again on wednesday. it was nice to have some time off. i was hoping it would start at the end of the month, but nope. damn, am i ready? it doesnt matter if i am or not, i have to be. im going to get excited about it soon, but not tonite.