trying

im trying to not run away from reps. he calls me after dinner, and we talk until he gets to his friends house. i learn more about his ambitions, and i immediately make a judgement call that this is not going to go anywhere. but i make a plea with myself to be open and not be so rash in my decisions about him. hes too sweet and cute to let go of so suddenly.

call me after you drop everyone off tonite, i tell him.

okay, but if its too late ill call you in the morning. i dont want to wake you.

its okay. call me, no matter how late you get home. id like your voice to be the last i hear tonite.

id like that, too. ill call you later, then.

my sister asks me today when im going to get married. i tell her by the end of this year or by next summer. i laugh at myself because i do not even have a prospect to be so bold as to say a time, but i have hope. it may or may not be reps, but im relinquishing all control to the power that be.

when you want something, the universe conspires to make it possible. this year, id like romance, a great job, and continued blessings.