first day back
the drag queen greets me the usual way by not greeting me, but she interrupts a conversation i am having with ben (dover). it is only 7:45 am, but i already wish it were saturday.
on the drive in today, i feel tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of standing in front of people expounding on martin luther king, jr. i am so passionless now about this job, and i scold myself for not having the fucking courage to make movements to leave. all ive been doing lately is whine whine whine, and frankly, im about to vomit.
i havent seen my friend yet, and i wonder if hes even come to work today. bear has not changed; his office was dark when i got here. hes probably on some vacation to make up for his stupidity, but im glad. hes so unpleasant to look at.
mrs. furley was her usual mousy self. and now i have to see fishhead II to see what bullshit shes going to fill my ears with. this is my favorite sport - to quietly sit still and occasionally uh-huh or pooh-pooh to please her stupid ass.
last night i have a dream about exbf. in the dream, he spends the night with me, but no physical contact is made. i take pictures of him as he sleeps, and when he wakes, he jumps up, surprised to be with me, and he leaves hurriedly. i drive some friends to dinner, and we pass by his car (which in real life he doesnt have, at least not when he was with me), and i see his current girlfriend parking it. i stop and greet her, and she is surprised that i talk to her. exbf isnt around at this point, but when he sees us talking, he is quite astounded. she asks me to step into their house, and it is crowded with people because her father had just died. i offer myself to them, in case they need an extra hand, and they seem genuinely grateful. then they announce their engagement.
the drag queen greets me the usual way by not greeting me, but she interrupts a conversation i am having with ben (dover). it is only 7:45 am, but i already wish it were saturday.
on the drive in today, i feel tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of standing in front of people expounding on martin luther king, jr. i am so passionless now about this job, and i scold myself for not having the fucking courage to make movements to leave. all ive been doing lately is whine whine whine, and frankly, im about to vomit.
i havent seen my friend yet, and i wonder if hes even come to work today. bear has not changed; his office was dark when i got here. hes probably on some vacation to make up for his stupidity, but im glad. hes so unpleasant to look at.
mrs. furley was her usual mousy self. and now i have to see fishhead II to see what bullshit shes going to fill my ears with. this is my favorite sport - to quietly sit still and occasionally uh-huh or pooh-pooh to please her stupid ass.
last night i have a dream about exbf. in the dream, he spends the night with me, but no physical contact is made. i take pictures of him as he sleeps, and when he wakes, he jumps up, surprised to be with me, and he leaves hurriedly. i drive some friends to dinner, and we pass by his car (which in real life he doesnt have, at least not when he was with me), and i see his current girlfriend parking it. i stop and greet her, and she is surprised that i talk to her. exbf isnt around at this point, but when he sees us talking, he is quite astounded. she asks me to step into their house, and it is crowded with people because her father had just died. i offer myself to them, in case they need an extra hand, and they seem genuinely grateful. then they announce their engagement.
posted by m/p @ 12:54 PM
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